I perceive Tantric sex as a satisfying process that leads to mutual gratification. This sexual ritual requires mental preparation and anticipation of the experience itself, and once we get together we have to invest our energy to fire it up. It depends on us to make it as perfect as we want; a little bit of exercise but it's completely worth it.
I also like massage and enjoy the feeling of skin on skin. I have found Tantra and tantric sex to be helpful with men who are dealing with sexual related anxiety. Tatric sex and Lingam massage are also known to be beneficial for issues with premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and inability to reach orgasm.
Kindly reminder, I have experienced tantra and tantric sex for the first time last year, and quickly felt in love with them. I do not consider myself an expert, but I have read with great interest a few books about the subject in hand and I've experienced with close lovers. Now, I eager to explore further and perhaps learn even more things.
If you are curious and want us to try it together, then I will be happy to share what I've learned, just let me tell you that it is a very large area of study, involves lots of patience and it isn't something that can be quickly summarised. Reason why this experience can be possible only during overnights or longer dates.
Causes of premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunctions
Although this is an uncomfortable subject for some men, I believe we should talk for a moment about the causes of premature ejaculation (PE) and other erectile dysfunctions (ED), and how can tantric healing work help men and women to reach relaxation and improve sexual performances.
To begin with, there are some underlying health conditions which can cause erectile dysfunctions, including heart disease, diabetes and high blood pressure. And you should visit the GP for a check-up if you experience symptoms for more than a few weeks. Drugs, alcohol and some pharmaceutical medicines can also affect your erection. Common emotional causes, which affect overall libido, include high stress levels, tiredness, depression, relationship difficulties, and the impact of physical illness.
Other psychological factors can be more complex, particularly thoughts and feelings of quilt which kick in in the run up to ‘big moments’ during sex, and then interfere with the ability to have an erection, or to manage it.
Men can relate to moments of ejaculating sooner than planned, or an awkward memory of not being able to get an erection during intimacy. Over time, erectile issues can lead to feelings of inadequacy and create stress in intimate relationships. Some men may end up avoiding intimacy and relationship altogether, because of low self-confidence and trauma caused by erectile issues.
I have met men who’ve grown up with a strict cultural upbringing around sexuality (eg catholic education), and need help to re-programme both their physical and emotional conditioning. Porn addiction and strong feelings of quilt can also interfere with a healthy erection. Over time, screen sex can affect the neurological pathways from the brain to the genital area, desensitizing sexual responses during ‘live’ sex with your partner or another person. All these factors can result in ‘performance anxiety’ – the brain’s anticipation of failure, based on past experiences, especially traumatic ones, in the run-up to sexual intimacy.
How can tantric massage help?
Tantric massage and sex can support men with both the physical and emotional causes of erectile issues, using a somatic (body-centered) approach. The Tantric and Taoist healing traditions recognize that many physical and emotional toxins are accumulated and stored in the pelvic area. This area of the body is often avoided completely in other holistic massage therapies, but is a main focus of this approach. For example, there are specific pressure points in the pelvic basin, including around the genitals, that can help remove physical blockages such as sedimentation in the capillaries, therefore increasing the blood volume needed for a healthy erection.
Prostate massage and men’s health
The male prostate massage is a key part of the treatment for erectile dysfunction. This internal therapy helps to remove the common build-up of stress and tension around the prostate gland. Tightness in the prostate area can affect the blood flow needed for a healthy erection, or create sexual tension, resulting in the need to ejaculate often.
Emotional release and erection
You may be wondering what ‘emotional blockages’ are, and how they show up in the physical body. These blockages are old emotions, due to past negative experiences which get stored in the body’s cellular memory, and can be activated and released through therapeutic touch. Spontaneous memories and feelings may come up during the bodywork, particularly during the genital massage. I support my suitors to feel and express emotions in a safe, confidential and warm space. This includes expressing and releasing emotions connected with erectile issues or unhealthy experiences with other ladies. We then can re-programme together some of the beliefs and physical responses of the lingam (penis).
In Tantric philosophy, it’s understood that a man’s lingam is connected energetically with his emotional heart. This is why many men cannot get an erection without a passionate and genuine connection with their sexual partner. When the heart has been hurt, disappointed or rejected in past experiences, it protects itself during intimacy, and the lingam may not get aroused. Passion, mutual enjoyment and trust are needed for an erection to come.
Nurturing and Pleasure
To end this blog, I’d like to mention that the emotional and physical release goes hand in hand with nurturing oil bodywork to relax away stress and tension, and to create moments of genuine enjoyment and passion.